I was watching TV last night, and I saw an annoying commercial for a shiny new cell phone. The commercial features "The Hills" stars
Brody Jenner, who is the son of famous Olympian Bruce Jenner, and Lauren Conrad, who is constantly on TV for no discernable reason. In the
commerical Lauren, or LC as the kids call her, is babbling about something inane, so Brody ignores her and stares at two blow up dolls
as they walk by, then shows how the phone can also be used as a mirror, so he can continue to stare at their hind quarters as they walk by, with
them being none the wiser. When it first shows the girls, the song "Oh Yeah!" by Yellow plays, however the first several times I saw
this commercial it was a different song. I don't remember which one, but I have a distinct feeling it might have been Warrant's "Cherry Pie".
What possible reason could there be for changing this from a song actually about women to the theme to Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I'm sure
Warrant would like the money, and that song has been licensed no less than three million times, so I don't think the band or label was upset.
What do they gain from doing this? This got me to thinking about other times I've seen something like this happen, however these times
were on TV shows, not commercials, which makes it actually annoying instead of just peculiar.
In an early episode of South Park, a robot named Bill Cosby comes back from the future to stop Eric Cartman from getting his Dawson's Creek
Trapper Keeper 2000. When everything is finally set right, it changes the future so robot Bill Cosby no longer existed. Presumably, this had
no effect on the actual Bill Cosby. When the robot realize what's happening he first comments how the future is saved and he's fading away,
but then begins to scream about how much that fading away process hurts, followed by Kyle saying "Well, that sucks". However, that only
happened in the original airing of the episode. Cosby still fades away and Kyle still remarks that it sucks, but there's no pain or screaming.
Why was this necessary? In that episode they parodied "Akira" and "The Terminator", and lampooned Rosie O'Donnell and the 2000 presidential
election. Of all that shit, the only thing anyone took offense to is a guy screaming because he's in pain?
The other instance of this that comes to mind is an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I'll spare you the details, but basically Meatwad gets the
ability to make anything he wants happen just by thinking about it. He conjures at least two Easter Bunnies, and then summons Santa Claus. Santa, unfortunately,
is pissed off. Meatwad demands toys, and Santa explains, angrily, that he doesn't have any because "It's the middle of fucking July! Those
faggoty little elves don't even come in until November!". This line, however, was changed to something like "those precious little elves". Really, Cartoon
Network? This is hardly the first gay joke on ATHF. Also, this is Adult Swim. I would think the main word there is adult. The show doesn't even air
until midnight, and yet we're going to be subjected to censorship? Who would even complain about this? Not only that, but why is it okay for Santa
to say "fuck" but not "faggot"? Of course, fuck was censored, but if you read my article on censorship you know that doesn't mean anything.
The worst and most bizarre part about both of these instances is that the altered versions are the ones that appear on the DVD's, and there's
no option to play the original. It's like they never even existed. If I'm paying for a DVD set, I'd like the episodes as they original
aired, not some pussified version where there's no such thing as pain or where Santa is only allowed to be kinda angry, and not complete
bullshit.
I just hope when that commercial makes it to DVD, and it will, that it has the original music.
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus