I am officially back from my Christmas vacation hiatus and ready to talk about the stuff that happened before Christmas. There are two specific things I'd like to talk about today, in fact.

The first thing I wanna mention is nothing new, but I still feel the need to complain. I received a few scratch tickets this year for Christmas. On those $15 worth of scratch tickets, I won exactly $0. However, if I had just been given the $15, I could've bought all sorts of things. Not a lot, but stuff. Scratch tickets are possibly the worst present ever. You're most likely not going to win anything, and if you happen to hit those 1:1,000,000,000 odds and win huge money, the person who gave you the ticket is just going to want half of it anyway. This isn't a new topic though, so I'll move on.

My girlfriend and I went to the mall to do my Christmas shopping a couple weeks ago. That's right, for probably the first time ever I had my shopping done before December 23rd. Anyway, I generally have really good luck finding parking spots, and that day was no different. It wasn't the best spot ever, but it was pretty damned good considering I just pulled into the mall and didn't circle around 1,000 times like a crazy old lady with nothing better to do. When we were leaving, however, she pointed out something that I had never noticed before. The two best parking spots in the entire mall had signs in front of them, similar to handicapped signs. These signs, however, were to signify that these two spots were available only to winners of an auction. That's right, malls are now auctioning off fucking parking spots during the Christmas shopping season. Considering the state of the economy, this is probably the most ridiculous dick move in the history of gouging. They may as well just charge money for all their parking spots, that way everyone will just buy their Christmas stuff online and help out our internet sales.