In keeping with my theme of being lazy and recycling ideas, I present you the first of presumably many sequels to my look at the crazy shit we put on eBay. As always, these are real items that are either in our possession or we have already sold.
A Sword - Now in theory this could make sense. We're a comic book and collectibles store, so maybe we have a replica of Excalibur
or a replica of some sword from Lord of the Rings. I assure you this is not the case. Somehow one of the owners came across a sword,
with no scabbard or means of protecting someone from hurting himself with it mind you, and decided that it's the sort of thing
we needed in inventory.
100 Atogs - Alright, this one was my fault. For those who don't know, Atog is a Magic card, originally from the Antiquities expansion.
It's name is an anagram for "goat", because much like a goat it will eat just about anything. Well we had about 200 of the antiquities
Atogs, and I figured, "Hey, let's see what happens if we try to sell a lot of 100 of them!" Amazingly enough, even though you can only ever
use 4 in a deck so one person has no real need for more than 8, this item did indeed sell.
7,000 Macedonians in full battle array - We were out of limerick oysters, so I thought it would be fun to try to sell this online.
If you have any idea what I'm talking about, then congratulations.
Gas Mask - This was one of the first things I ever saw when I started working at the store. I had to go downstairs to look through some old boxes
of cards and see if there anything we needed, and as I was looking through I saw an old gas mask sitting on a desk. Much like the sword,
this is one of those things that I don't know how we would ever come across in the first place, let alone why they would decide it would
be the perfect addition to our stock.
About half a camera - This, on the other hand, I understand completely why my boss bought. If I remember correctly, the camera was from 1897, but it may have been earlier. Also, as none of us have much knowledge about something like this, we couldn't immediately tell by looking at it that it was missing a lot of parts. No from a functional standpoint that doesn't really matter; after all, it's not like you could even still find film for a camera like this. Amazingly enough, this did actually sell. I guess there's a collector out there who just had to have about half of an antique camera to add their collection of broken shit, including a tire from a Model T and Secretariat's right knee.
A model car liquor bottle - I'm sure you've seen models of antique cars before. They're about a foot long, come in glass display cases, and are pretty expensive. Some of them require you to assemble the car, and some come complete. Well this one was just like one of those, except it came complete with about a liter of whiskey. Yes, fine single barrel whiskey served from a four cylinder engine. The part that I found to be the most odd is that when we got ownership of this, the liquor was all still intact. I can't spending all that money to hide my secret drinking habit, and then not actually drink it. And no, I don't go downstairs and drink from the car on my breaks.
The Reptilian Agenda by David Icke - We got this in the other day and it sold in about an hour. This is a 3 DVD set directed by, starring,
and produced by David Icke, who is some sort of conspiracy nut. The general premise of this? Reptilian extraterrestrials came to Earth thousands
of years ago and have been running the world since then by infiltrating every facet of every government. I'm pretty sure that's
already the punchline, so let's move on.
Identity Theft DVD - Identity theft is becoming a big concern for people, so the fact that there's a DVD about how to prevent identity
theft isn't that strange at all. The strange part is that someone who is completely paranoid about identity theft would have no problem
using their credit card online to purchase this.
Anthropomorphic diaper rape porn - No, this is not a joke. Imagine a college aged anthropomorphic rabbit wearing a diaper. Now imagine it
getting raped an anthropomorphic dog. If you can imagine that, then sorry, but we can't be friends anymore. As best as I can tell, though, that
is the basic premise of "Incontinent Student Bodies". I could be way off as I didn't have the balls to open the magazine, but I don't
see how they could possibly have that misleading of a cover. Oh yeah, and since it's anthropomorphic porn, I think a much better name would
have been "Incontinent Student Bunnies".
That's all for today, but as long as their are people with diaper fetishes, conspiracy theories, and 50% or less of an antique item,
then I can assure you there will be another sequel.
It's one of the J&R Liquor Lads! That'll make your bull run
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus