Saturday at work we held a big outside sale. I've done a couple of them before and my bosses have done many, but this was nothing like
I was expecting. We started setting up in the morning, when the migrant workers who had been working on the roof the previous two days showed up.
They had told that the job absolutely had to be completed by Friday, but that hadn't happened. We tried to tell them they couldn't work that day, but
they didn't speak English. Eventually, a solution was worked out that involved them staying mostly out of the way so we could have the sale outside.
In previous installments of EHIP, I have only highlighted bizarre items that we were selling. This time, however, I can also showcase
some of the people who were there to buy things. We'll start with some of the more interesting items I saw.
The Rapist - The cover of this 1977 classic novel features the image of a sad clown holding a big knife, and was clearly not intended
to be called "therapist" prior to a printing error. Ironically, the book it was next to on the table was titled "The Wise Virgin".
Play It Safe - The 1986 board game totes itself as the "Fun way to teach your 5-7 year olds about the dangers in your home and neighborhood".
I expect Syd to talk about this at much greater length in the future, so I'll leave it there.
NFT: The Nice, Friendly Teacher - This thing was in the book section, but it wasn't even a book. It was a binder someone had filled
with random magazine and newspaper clippings. I'm actually going to do an entry on this in the near future so I won't go into too much
detail, but it includes multiple denture ads, the raciest Coca-Cola ad I've ever seen, and a magazine story titled "The Two Fat Men."
Plutocrat - This was another board game, and one that I've never heard of. The box claimed it was going to be bigger than Monopoly,
but the box also had a definition of whatever the fuck a Plutocrat is, which I've already forgotten. As a general rule, I think if you
need to have excerpts from Webster's Dictionary on the front of your board game box, it's not going to be a big seller. Also, we had
a Webster's Dictionary for sale.
The people who attended the sale, however, were far more interesting than the stuff for sale, however.
Migrant workers - These guys were supposed to be fixing our roof, but the spent a lot of time looking through the stuff we had for sale.
One of them saw that we had CD's out, and asked if we had Windows XP. Surprisingly, we did not have the $100+ software that is still
the operating system of choice for PC users among our 50 cent CD's. They did buy a bunch of books and VHS tapes however, and one even
bought a cassette rewinder. It's amazing to think that in 2008 someone could pay a dollar for a VHS tape rewinder and have it be a luxury
item, especially since it wasn't even shaped like a car. These guys were also interesting because when they took their lunch break, all
seven of them piled into their van and just ate their lunches there in the parking lot, like a pack of hungry clowns.
Old lady - This woman showed up 2 hours before the book sale was supposed to began, and just sat in her car waiting for us to put stuff
out on the tables. Fortunately, she was pleasant and bought boxes and boxes worth of stuff. Unfortunately, she bought all the Simpsons
figures that Syd would've wanted.
Asian lady - This woman shows up to our sale and bought a bunch of books for $4.00. While she was here, we had posted an add on craigslist
saying that for the rest of the sale everything was going to be "fill a bag for $5.00". She apparently went home and then saw the add,
so she came back asking if she could now fill a bag for one dollar. We basically told her to fuck herself, but she was still willing to fill
a bag for the full $5.00. She filled the bag to the point where it was overflowing and too heavy to lift, and she also had an arm full of
stuff. She tried to pay for me it, but only gave me the $5.00 for the bag. She seemed upset when I said she had to pay for the stuff that
couldn't fit in a bag (It was seven books for $4.00, hardly a bad deal), and she asked if she could just pay a dollar for them. The answer was no so
she took her bag and left. The funny thing was that all of the stuff she had been picking up was children's books and toys. Apparently you
can put a price on love, and her love for her daughter is worth exactly ten dollars, and not a penny more.
That's all for today, but check back tomorrow as I talk about...I dunno, stuff.
I'll gladly pay you on Tuesday if I can has cheezburger today
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus