Remember when Adult Swim was good? Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, The Brak Show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab 2021, and then later
Home Movies and Mission Hill (Though both of those were original on the WB). These were great shows. This was the sort of shit that
would bring my friends and I together on a Sunday night, back when Adult Swim was new on Sunday and replayed on Thursday with every
other night being their normal lineup, to stay up late and watch cartoons despite having classes the next morning. Then something happened,
something horrible. Adult Swim got bumps. For those of you who don't remember and don't watch on Fridays now, Adult Swim used to have
adults swimming in a pool. You know, it's kinda the fucking name of the lineup and all. Well they took the swim out of adult swim and
brought it awful, pretentious bumps.
"But Jeebus!" they cried, "it was just stupid old people swimming in a pool! Surely these bumps won't be the downfall of Adult Swim! Can't
we just learn to love and accept them?" And I looked down and whispered, "No." Now that there was no more swim in Adult Swim, Cartoon Network
decided it didn't need to be cartoons for adults anymore. Fuck, they didn't even really need to be cartoons, and so we got Tom Goes To The Mayor.
This is the second worst show I have ever seen, and I don't say that lightly. A show has to be really, really bad for me to think it's worse
than Tom Green, Jackass, and Pants Off Dance Off. This show was somewhat animated, but this was also the same time period when, just to be
total fucking jerk-offs, the execs and Cartoon Network decided that they could run Saved By The Bell on Adult Swim. And you know what? It was
their highest rated show, which proved to them that people will watch anything, no matter what it was. What did that mean for us, their loyal
patrons? It meant that Cartoon Network and Adult Swim were no longer about cartoons.
Prior to this debacle, there had only ever been one time when I turned on Adult Swim and saw something that wasn't animated but still
had the Cartoon Network logo on it, indicating that it wasn't a commercial. That was when they played "Osmosis Jones", and that's fine.
I'm not going to begrudge them for playing something like "Osmosis Jones", or the much higher quality "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?".
But now our Adult Swim lineup had gone entirely to shit. And now Tim and Eric had another show. There are not words to describe how awful
their first show was, so why the fuck would they get a second show? I assure you I am 100% serious when I say this: Tim and Eric need to die.
I'm not saying that I want you, the reader, to go out and kill them...persay. I'm just saying that I want them not to be alive anymore.
If Tim and Eric can get two shows, shouldn't Syd and Jeebus have at least one?
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus