As you know, I write a review for every new Magic set that comes out. I used to do them directly in the Magic forums, but now I write them here because of the length, and because it grants me freedom to use any language I want. Well my most recent review received quite a bit of critisism by some. This wasn't because I was way off in my evaluations of the cards or anything, but rather because I referred to one of the new cards in the set as being "fucking gay".

You see, some people took offense to my evaluation of the card because they felt I was insulting homosexuals or think I'm some sort of evil hatemonger because I referred to the card this way. Of course, anyone who knows me can tell you that, while I may be evil, I'm certainly not a hatemonger. Anyway, I was simply using a different defintion of the word. The word "gay" has evolved to be an adjective that describes anything which is displeasurable. I'm not the first person to use the word this way, and I won't be the last. While whiny babies insist that this is offensive and it has not yet been added to the dictionary (Though I assure you, it's coming) this is a perfectly legitimate definition of the word. I tried to explain this to the people that were offended, but then they got all uppity saying that I was making excuses and the only reason that the word "gay" now describes anything displeasurable is because of negative feelings towards homosexuals anyway so I was just trying to justify my (non-existant) hate.

What everyone needs to realize is that words evolve. Lots of words have evolved to mean different things. "Coke" was originally the result of a metallurgical process. "Accost", while always having a similar definition, has gone from being a completely neutral word to having severely negative connotations. While there may be reasons that the words have evolved the way they are, they hold no actual bearing on the other usages of the word; no one doing coke in a restaurant bathroom is concerned with metallurgy, and the fact that a certain Magic card is completely fucking gay has nothing to do with guy on guy action.

So why am I calling all these people hypocrites? Simple: they're condemning me for using a newly evolved definition of a word, however they are only taking offense to it because of another evolution of the word. "Gay" did not originally have anything to do with homosexuality. In fact, the word "gay" was used for hundreds of years before it was defined as referring to homosexuals. Why is it okay for you to used an evolved version of a word but not for me to? You claim that the evolution of the word I'm using is offensive because it's derived from the fact that people don't like homosexuals, but what about how your definition evolved? Gay originally meant things like "having or showing a merry, lively mood" or "showy and flashy". So my definition s offensive because it evolved based on negative feelings, but you will defend to the death that "gay" should rightfully mean "homosexual" even though, considering the original definitions of the word "gay", your definition evolved on the basis that all homosexuals are complete and utter flaming queens. Isn't that incorrect stereotype a MUCH more offensive assertion than what I said?

Evolution is part of the course of any language; that's why we're not all still communicating in grunts. You're going to have to deal with the fact that "tweet" no longer has anything to do with birds and instead refers to celebrities using some gay "networking" site to tell you how frequently they take a dump. Words change. New words are created. Fucking deal with it. dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com

No matter what word you use, Regenerate is still a terrible card

© 2009 by Dr. Jeebus