Old People. Amirite? I, like most people my age, don't have an intense desire to go around starting conversations with random strangers. As time goes on, however, this will apparently change. My life will become so boring and I'll find all TV so offensive that I'll feel the need to start talking to anyone I run into as my only remaining means of entertainment.

I was leaving my apartment for work a couple days ago, and the elevator made a couple extra stops. First, it picked up one of the construction guys doing some work on our building. We stood silently, traveling down three stories, until the elevator stopped on the second floor and an old woman got on. Suddenly, keeping to ourselves wasn't allowed to be on the agenda. Here's how the conversation went:

Woman: "So where is everyone off to?"
(Long pause as neither of us wanted to answer)
Man: Just going outside for a minute
Woman: Oh, I thought maybe you were going golfing

Why would you instantly assume that someone was going golfing? Dude is wearing a fucking t-shirt with the name of the construction company on it, covered in paint, and carrying two or three tools that look nothing like fucking golf clubs. Oh the joys of being senile! She then insisted on finding out what I was doing, and when I said that I was going to work she started singing the song from Snow White. Not either of the two work songs either, she sang "Some Day My Prince Will Come." Fine, I'm a fucking liar, it was "Heigh-ho!", but it was still weird and inappropriate. Not as weird and inappropriate as that episode of Full House when Uncle Jesse "plays doctor" with Michelle, but more weird and inappropriate than cheese. I have never run from the elevator to my car as fast as I did that day.

dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com

Time to buy a faster elevator!

© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus