Homeless People Are Lazy

From the AP wire:

LOS ANGELES – A homeless man has been sentenced to nearly four years in prison and ordered to pay more than $101 million for starting two fires, including one that burned more than 163,000 acres in California two years ago. Fifty-year-old Steven Emory Butcher was convicted in February of starting blazes in the Los Padres National Forest in 2002 and 2006. The 2006 fire raged for more than a month and cost more than $78 million to suppress. It injured 18 people, destroyed 11 structures and was the fifth-largest fire in California history, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection. The 2002 blaze burned 70 acres.

First of all, this judge is a fucking idiot because he gave the homeless man exactly what he wanted. If he had only set the one fire in 2002 then I could consider it an accident. He accidentally knocked over his flaming trash barrel while trying to ward of exposure, and it cause a huge forest fire. Hey, we've all been there. There's no way you could do that a second time by accident though; even homeless people should know how to learn from their mistakes. So now this guy who was intentionally setting fires gets free shelter, warm meals, and all the gay sex he can handle. Oh, and $101 million? What's the point in fining him that? The dude's fucking homeless, he can't possibly pay that which means it will probably translate to more prison time. I mean, what was the judge thinking they could do, garnish his salary when he gets out of prison? The government is welcome to as much as 80% of every dollar someone puts in the transient's little coffee cup of hope, but that will never come close to the amount.

Let's not ignore the real issue here. No it's not all the damage this guy caused, it's the fact that he set the fifth largest fire in California's history. When my girlfriend and I went to my uncle's cabin in Maine last month I couldn't even get a fire to stay lit for a fucking hour, and this bum sets the fifth largest fire in the most forest fire prone state in the union? This shows the sort of initiate that other homeless people seem to be lacking. With all the free time they have to plan, why couldn't he have set the largest?

And that is the real issue. Homeless people should be out there setting world records. What the fuck else are they going to do with their time? If the homeless are going to live off my tax dollars, they could at least provide me with some fucking entertainment. These bums are so dirty and sticky that I think largest human pyramid would be a no-brainer; the layer of filth and grime covering them is practically like glue, so they wouldn't even need any real balance. I also think there's a lot of potential in an all-homeless version of hands across America. Unlike real, working people, the homeless have nowhere to be and are used to standing around outside doing nothing, so even if it's really disorganized, they could stand around for days to figure it out without it being a burden on their every day lives. I'm sure they'd love actually having physical contact with someone for once anyway.

Those ideas are just off the top of my head, but get to thinking, you fucking vagrants! You have nothing but time and possibly a smelly rash on your hands, so I'm sure the possibilities are endless!

dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com

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