I don't watch the news. I have no real desire to, and I haven't in a long time. I was looking for something watch this morning while waiting for
Malcolm in the Middle to come on, and stopped briefly on the news. Three stories were covered, and they highlight exactly why I don't watch the
news. There was a child that has been missing for almost a week now, a 4-year-old and 17-year-old pair of brothers that were shot on their porch,
and something about that stupid frozen Bigfoot picture. This is all stuff I don't care about. Don't get me wrong, it's awful when people, especially kids,
are shot or go missing. There's also over 6 billion people in the world, with thousands dying and being born each day. It is impossible for anyone
to genuinely care about that many people on an individual basis, or even to hear all their stories, so I don't really feel the need to hear any
stories of the anonymous dead. Besides, it gets terribly depressing. I used to go to school in Miami, and I tried watching the news for a brief period.
The day I started watching, a search began for a missing 2-year-old child. I swear to you this is not an exaggeration or fuzzy memories or anything, but literally
every day for the next two weeks they find a dead bay in the woods where they were searching for this missing kid. After two weeks of dead babies, they had yet to find
the one they were actually looking for. Thanks, but no thanks. I can do without that depressing news.
Then there's Bigfoot. How in the fuck is that news? There's a ton of fake Bigfoot sightings every year, and the only different to this is
that they allegedly have a body. A body that no one is allowed to see but them. That just wreaks of validity. I don't want a bunch of depressing
news about random people dying, but I don't want fluff stories like this either. Unfortunately, thanks to the internet and cable news channels,
there is now a 24 hour news cycle and program directors must struggle desperately to fill every possible second of space with something that
is allegedly news worthy. None of this is really news, as none of it makes us any better informed about the actual goings on of the world, nor
does any of it have any real impact on our lives. Theoretically, the news could at least be a place to go to remain informed on political candidates,
but every network is so completely biased that there's no real point.
Thanks to the 24 hour news cycle and the total political bias already existing on TV, the stage was set for the rise of the political pundit. These
people are allowed to be biased because by being pundits they are giving their opinions, but they're of no real use to anyone. Pundits spin
things in an out of control fashion by omitting major details and even fabricating evidence to support the views of whichever party
has made them its whipping boy. Even Bill O'Reilly who claims his show is a "No spin zone" is guilty of spin. I used to watch Bill on a
regular basis, largely because I agreed with a lot of his ideas, and because he honestly might be the most honest pundit out there. He isn't owned
by either party as his views range from extremely liberal to extremely conservative, depending on the issue, and he always presents the facts
before delving into the opinion and analysis portion. Sounds great, so where does the spin come in? It comes in the guests. There are two types
of people that O'Reilly will debate with on his show: people who agree with him, and people who don't. If he wants someone on the show who agrees
with him, he will find a respectable elected official or expert in whatever field they are discussing so they can sit there and circle jerk
around his ideas while sounding like intelligent discourse. If he wants someone on the show who disagrees with him, he will find the biggest fucking
lunatic he can, like the vice president of the Oklahoma chapter of "Uninformed mothers of soldiers who are stationed in Guam against the war on Iraq",
and basically bully them with his superior knowledge of the subject, debating schools, and inevitably decibel level. And don't even get me started on the pundits
that I don't like.
So if the news is so worthless and depressing, how does one stay informed? After all, a lot is happening in the world, and it's good to have some idea. Of course, much of what's going on is too complicated for mass consumption by the public, so even if it appeared on the news it would have to be dumbed down. That's not to say that I think the public is stupid, although I do, but with so much going on in every field of art and science, and with so many intricacies in all these fields, the general public could not be expected to understand all of what was reported, where the news to actually cover all of these topics. If someone did want to stay informed on any particular topic, of course, there are numerous journals and trade publications that are filled with legitimate news, without fluff stories about bigfoot or seas of dead babies. Of course, if your field of choice is celebrity gossip, you don't even need to read anything. Just ask the next person you see what stupid shit Miley Cyrus did today.
Difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus