New Hampshire Needs to Pay Me Taxes

Just over a year ago, I moved into an apartment with my girlfriend about five minutes from the New Hampshire border. As a result, I now see a lot more New Hampshire license plates than I ever used to. What I've learned from this is that New Hampshire residents apparently have way too much fucking money, because they all have vanity plates. I've never fully understood vanity plates, and now that I've had a chance to see a lot more of them, I understand it even less. Here's a list of just a few of the license plates I've seen:

IMADORK - This one has a pretty clear message, but I'm not sure it's something I'd want to advertise. Advertise is definitely the right word as well, since the owner had to pay money to let everyone know this. Besides, there are much more creative ways to let everyone know what a dork you are. For example, Black Zarak's car has a mana cost of 3BB.

MOMOF4 - So you have four kids and you still have enough fucking money to waste on stupid shit like this? We all knew you were a mom when we saw you driving around in your SUV anyway.

+IML8+ - This one is particularly interesting to me. The use of two + signs would lead me to believe that the owner didn't even have enough to say to fill an entire fucking license plate. You really wanna spend money just for four little characters? Upon closer inspection, however, they could have written out the word late. I'm still not really sure exactly what this plate means, either. Either the owner wants to let us all know how unreliable they are, or some girl was too scared to tell her boyfriend in person that she was pregnant.

WINN R - Yes, the space was really there. I know what you're thinking: "they think that they're a winner but the full word was already taken, so they got the next best thing!" You're wrong. I had my friend at the DMV run this plate, and the owner is a Winn, Robbie. I guess you can get a lightning bolt on your plate, but not a comma.

SZMATRS - I don't even need to tell you that this was on the biggest fucking pickup truck I've ever seen. Hooray for overcompensating.

BOSTON - Really? If you love Boston that much, why do you have a New Hampshire license plate instead of a Massachusetts one?

GTOFBL - This is my least favourite type of vanity plate: the ones that I have no idea what the fuck they mean. Go to fable? I could go on guessing, but I'm sure no one could ever decipher this. And if you know what it means, then fuck you cause I don't wanna hear it.

That's all for now folks, but check back as I should be updating my blog regularly.

dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com

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