Obama Won - Get Over It You Fucking Crybabies

Both times George W. Bush was elected, the left was doing everything in its power to keep him out of office. My political science professor in Miami had been involved in the recount, and he freely admitted that they were making up anything they could to steal the election. So it comes as no surprise that now that Barack Obama has been elected president that the right is now trying to keep him out of office. I'm not really saying there is a link between the two events, I just want to make it clear that both sides are equally guilty of being whiny little pussies.

One of the ways they're trying to keep Obama out of office is saying that he was not eligible to run because he wasn't born in America. Over 20 petitions have been filed making this claim, and they've all been rejected. Why do they keep trying? It's already been proven that this is false. I admire your tenacity I guess, but if you're going to try to keep the man out of office why don't you try making up a new story instead of harping on the same proven falsehood? Oh yeah, because there's nothing you can fucking do. The man won the election. Deal.

The next thing I heard on the radio was, I guess, a claim that McCain should have won and an indictment of our entire election process. Someone had compiled a bunch of statistics that are supposed to look bad. I'm doing this from memory so sorry if I'm not 100% accurate, but these are the figures that were being sited:
States won: Obama 20, McCain 30
Total area of the states won: Obama 500,000ish acres, McCain 2,000,000+ acres
Murder rate per thousand people in areas won: Obama 13, McCain 2
I'm sure these statistics are absolutely fascinating, but what is the point of them? Maybe McCain won more states, but it should be relevant that Vermont has more cows than people whereas California has more people than many countries. The total area of those states isn't even vaguely relevant. It's one vote per person, not one vote per person per acre. Or for that matter, one person per acre regardless of whether anyone owns it. I don't think a state with five people and 10,000 square acres of barren desert should count more than a state with 10,000 people crammed into five acres. Our constitution doesn't think so either. The last statistic is the most interested of all though. The numbers themselves aren't interesting, but why someone thought it was important to bring this up is interesting. Is he implying that the people who voted for Obama are worse human beings and shouldn't be allowed to vote? If that's the case then he'll probably be happy to know that murderers go to jail where they can't vote. It's possible he was saying that some percentage of the votes for Obama shouldn't count because the people who voted will be murdered, but that's ridiculous as most of McCain's voters are likely already on death's doorstep. It no point in this discussion did anyone actually mention how many actual votes or electoral votes either candidate got. Just because you don't want to talk about the actual tally doesn't change anything.

Of course, now comes the most ridiculous claim. The current claim that has people screaming "scandal" even though there's no reason to, is the situation with Illinois's Governor Blagojevich. By situation, I of course mean massive corruption. The claim is that somehow Obama was aware of what was going on. This claim, of course, is false. There is apparently quite a bit of proof that they actually hate each other, or at the very least that Blagojevich hates Obama. The FBI had his phone tapped for months, and he was heard saying both that Obama's team would give him "nothing but appreciation" if he appointed one of them to the vacant senate seat, and he was also heard calling Obama some sort of expletive. And yet, despite all this (and a mountain of other evidence I don't feel like citing because it would just get redundant), people are still insisting that somehow they were either conspiring together or at least that Obama knew what was going on. One person even made the claim that "it's all over every news station, so it must be true". In a perfect world, that statement would disqualify him from ever voting again due to dangerous stupidity. I don't even really understand the accusation. Fine, they're politicians and they're both from Illinois. I fancy myself as someone of a musician, but no one accuses me and Rob Zombie of formulating evil conspiracies together just because we're both musicians from Massachusetts.

I'm glad we live in a country where people have nothing better to do than complain about the result of a very cut and dry election.


I'm Dr. Jeebus and I endorse this message

© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus