Give Me Some Pills So I Can Win An Oscar

We all knew it was going to happen. There may not have ever been a bigger lock for an academy award than Heath Ledger this year, and as we all expected he indeed won the award for best supporting actor. While I mean no disrespect to Heath, his performance, or his family, it is very obvious that he would NEVER have won this award for The Dark Knight if he was alive, and that's fucking bullshit.

The Dark Knight is one of the highest grossing films ever, and is ranked in the top 10 on IMDB's list of best movies of all time. Admittedly, movies on IMDB tend to have higher reviews closer to when they came out, but that's still impressive. The academy, however, are a bunch of pretentious douchebags who would never nominate an action movie, especially a superhero action movie, for anything important. Despite the way the public responded to this movie, it was not nominated for anything important aside from supporting actor. I'm not saying Christian Bale should be nominated for best actor, but the movie should have been nominated for best picture and best director. It didn't even need to win, being nominated would be enough for a movie like this. And yet, as expected, it was snubbed in almost every category.

So how then did Heath Ledger even get nominated, let alone win? How can you recognize that Ledger had an Oscar worthy performance in this movie and not acknowledge anything else about the movie?

I didn't watch much of the Oscars, but I saw this award and saw that it was immediately followed by Bill Maher decrying the existence of God. Guess what, asshole? This isn't the forum for your self-righteous bullshit.

Anyway, I'm going to have to somehow get into a big budget Hollywood blockbuster and then off myself. It'll suck to be dead, but at least I can die knowing with 100% certainty that I was going to win the Oscar.

Future headline: Watchmen cast and crew enter into suicide pact, sweep Oscars

© 2009 by Dr. Jeebus