I absolutely hate rubberneckers. I don't have time to sit in bumper to bumper traffic because there's a crash on the other side of the
highway. Sometimes it's not even a crash. Sometimes it's just aspeed trap or a guy pulled over. Once I was very literally moving 5 miles
per hour only to discover it was because there was a detail cop just kinda sitting on the other side of the highway while some city
workers used surveying equipment or something like that. Basically, nothing exciting at all. I will admit that once in a while I've
slowed down, but those instances are very few and far between. A normal crash or speeding ticket is not worthy of anyone's attention, especially
when it's on the other side of the highway. If you slow down for that, you're just being a douchebag and should be slapped in the face. Here, however,
are a few things I've seen that are worth slowing down for. If you see something and it's not as unusual as any of these, keep on driving.
A flaming car - I had never seen a car on fire until a couple years ago, but now I've seen several of them. A regular car on fire isn't
worth slowing down for because it's not very spectacular. I did see one flaming car, however, that had a giant pillar of smoke coming from it.
This wasn't just a car that caught fire as (somehow) happens sometimes; this was right out of a movie. It's like the car had driven off a cliff
in an action movie and inexplicably burst into flames. That's the extent to which this car was on fire.
A giraffe - Technically I didn't see this, my boss did, so putting it on this list is kind of a cheat. Then again, it's my list so I'll
do whatever I want. Standard wildlife such as deer, rabbits, or roadkill are hardly worth slowing down for. If you're from an area where
deer aren't native and it's your first time ever seeing one then maybe I can understand. A giraffe on the other hand? Where all from a country where
giraffes aren't native and don't live in the wild, so if you ever see one on the side of the road you have my permission to look.
A lumber truck on fire - Maybe I'm a bit of a pyro, but whatever. I saw a truck carring felled trees, easily 30 feet in length, that had caught
fire. What made this particularly interesting is that only the actual cabin of the truck had caught fire and the trees were completely unharmed. I can't
begin to imagine how that happened. This brings me to the greatest thing I have ever seen on the side of the road:
I little tow truck towing a big tow truck towing a cement mixer - Go on, try to wrap your head around that one for a minute. Without
having seen it, can you even imagine what that might look like? It's like Russian nesting dolls, except giant and metal!..and I suppose they
technically don't fit inside each other which leaves me with this one perplexing question: Where do baby trucks come from?
Please note that a pyromaniac is NOT an arson
© 2009 by Dr. Jeebus