Popular Sayings Are All Stupid

You're probably thought this yourself before, but most popular saying are really stupid and don't make any sense. The ones that do make sense aren't any better because they're still stupid, but at least there's some semblance of logic behind them. Here is a look at some of my least favourite sayings:

Eat Your Heart Out - As far as I can tell, this saying dates back all the way to 1984 when Temple of Doom was released. People undoubtedly started ripping each other's hearts and seeing how much they could make the heart's owner eat before they died. Ripping someone's still beating out heart out of their chest cavity was then ruled illegal in 1987, thus the saying's original was nearly lost to the ages.

Here's Mud In Your Eye - Thanks?

Winning's Not Everything, It's The Only Thing - This is decidedly untrue. If winning was the only thing, then there'd be no loser which would eliminate the need for competition all together. The lack of competition would then eliminate the possibility of their being any winners. In conclusion, it's just a game, so tell your coach to lighten the fuck up.

Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water - I understand this dates back to when babies where washed in little washtubs, and the water was then thrown out the window onto passersby, just like with chamber pots. It's obviously important not to throw the baby out as well, but could it possibly have happened often enough where it was necessary to coin such a phrase?

It's Raining Cats and Dogs - Obviously this couldn't be meant to be taken literally, but even figuratively what does it mean? I mean, if it was raining kittens and puppies it'd just mean that the army of storks that deliver babies were doing a poor job tying the little bundles to their beaks, but full grown cats and dogs? That's just silly.

The Proof Is In The Pudding - Apparently "proof" tastes much like"chocolate".

The Whole Nine Yards - This saying would make perfect sense if it mean to do something 90% of the way to completion, as ten yards is a first down. Since that's not what it means, it's stupid.

Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too - Of all of these sayings, this is the one you probably hear the most, and it pisses me off. What else am I going to do with cake, if not eat it? I don't have any friends named Sideshow Bob, Sideshow Mel, or Sideshow Luke Perry, so I'm certainly not going to throw it. Since the phrase is meant to describe when someone is being greedy and unreasonable, it should be "Eat your cake and have it too". There's no putting in having cake if you're not going to eat it, but if you want to eat your cake and then still have it afterwards? Now that's greedy.

dr_jeebus@sydlexia.com

How do you turn a phrase?

© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus