As you all know, tomorrow is Halloween. It's the one night each year where people can get dressed up in fun costumes and enjoy
candy and parties. It's also the one night every year where people can act like total fucktards and no one thinks
anything of it. On that note, it's time for the Halloween edition of Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger!
First, a wag of my finger to anyone who dresses as The Joker this Halloween. You've had 68 fucking years to dress up as The Joker, so there's only
one reason you all decided to do it now.
Next, a tip of the hat to my son, Sleepy, for consistently having the best Halloween costumes I've ever seen. I haven't seen him
since I left Miami, but the last Halloween I was there he dressed up as a magic 8 ball. That may not sound impressive until I mention
that he dressed up as a working magic 8 ball. Yeah, try to figure that one out. It's rare to see that much creativity in a costume, which
brings me to:
A wag of the finger to guys who dress in drag. Once you hit junior high, every Halloween party you go to will be filled with guys
dressed like women. I can't imagine if these people think they're being clever or not, but it's really just gross for guys to dress
up like tranny prostitutes.
On a related note, a wag of the finger to women who dress up like sluts. Whether it's a slutty cop, a slutty devil, or a slutty nurse, you're still just a slut. I know there aren't as many options out there for women as men, but for fuck's suck try to be a little creative at least. I saw a Halloween episode of "Girls Next Door", and Hef's girlfriends were dressed up like a witch, one of the Disney princesses, and something else I don't recall. I know they aren't terribly original, but when even Hugh Hefner's slutty ass girlfriends are wearing full length gowns and you're wearing nothing but a thong and a pair of handcuffs, how does that make you look?
Finally, a tip of my hat to the wealthy elite. People are always complaining about them, but know what? When most families are giving out little miniature candy bars, the wealthy are giving out full size or even king size candy bars! That's Reaganomics at work: we cut their taxes, and the savings trickle down right into my middle class stomach.
That's all for this week, but check back Monday as I most likely complain about all the annoying shit that happened that will inevitably happen tomorrow.
I have signed into law legislation outlawing Russia. The bombing will begin immediately.
© 2008 by Dr. Jeebus